Do you use sex as a tool?

July 25, 2008 at 11:26 pm (Sexual) (, , , , , )

 

                                       By Minister Davis

Are you the type of person that is always taking and never giving? Do you seek sex from your spouse for the pure enjoyment of getting your rocks off, and not being mindful of your spouses need?

Sex is primarily a spiritual act of oneness symbolized with a physical act. For it to be a blessing in marriage, there needs to be emotional and spiritual wholeness, free of domination, manipulation and control from either spouse. Emotional wounding or bondage in either person will damage and distort sexual intimacy. To have a healthy sexuality, you need complete trust, mutual respect and appreciation of each other which leads to oneness of body, soul and spirit. This creates a godly sexual soul tie. An ungodly sexual soul tie occurs when sexuality becomes a tool of control.Yes, there can be an ungodly sexual soul tie even in Christian marriage. There can even be sexual abuse in Christian marriage which gets covered up by insisting on the scriptural submission of women to the will of the male. It is a sin to dominate, manipulate or control a spouse in any way, including sexuality. It shows disrespect and treats the person as an object to meet the emotional needs of the other.Sexuality can be used as a tool of punishment or reward to control the other spouse. When it is used as a way of reassuring yourself of worth or acceptance, it can easily become an addiction that drives you for more. A very simple test of sexuality is to ask yourself this question, “during sex are you lovingly giving yourself to your spouse or taking what you believe to be rightfully yours?” If you are taking then you are on dangerous ground! In my observation, most sexual problems are emotional and spiritual, not physical. The solution is the healing of our wounds. We need to learn to love unconditionally. When we can detach ourselves from believing that we have total control of our spouses’ body, mind and soul and learn to trust and give them the love and respect they deserve, then we are on our way to learning the greatest lesson of all. “The art of a lover is to make the love last as long as possible.” Capture the spirit of this sentence and you capture the meaning of learning how to love unconditionally. In any relationship this is the greatest challenge of all. But it is one that we must learn to embrace and understand if we are to have a complete loving and romantic life together as one.

 

 

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